If I Were Honest by Pastor Marquiel Baker

If I were honest, I feel I have fallen so far that there is no way back.

If I were honest, I feel God is far away from me.

If I were honest, I feel unworthy to carry His gospel, even as a pastor.

If I were honest, I feel the darkness is closing in all around me.

If I were honest, I feel defeated.

If I were honest, I feel like I can’t carry this burden.

If I were honest, I feel as if this trial will break me.

If I were honest, I feel like Satan has won.

If I were honest, I feel as though I don’t know what to pray.

If I were honest, I feel like this silence is deafening.

If I were to be honest, I feel like God has forsaken me.

But….

If I were honest, scripture tells me that God will never forsake me.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that God is in the whispering.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that when I don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit will intercede for me in my wordless groans.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that victory has already come through Jesus.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that my trials will make me whole.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that Christ’s burden is light.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that I am more than a conqueror.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that God’s light will break through like the dawn.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that I am worthy because of my salvation through Christ.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that God is near to everyone who calls on Him.

If I were honest, scripture tells me that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God.

Throughout my life—even recently—I have believed many of the lies I mentioned earlier. When I relied on my feelings, they often led me away from God’s truth. But after walking with Him for more than 30 years, I have learned to turn to Scripture and remind myself of what God says, rather than letting my emotions define my reality.

If anything in this blog resonates with you, I encourage you to seek out what God’s Word says about your situation. He desires to bless you, to guide you, and to remind you that you are His beloved child. He wants nothing but good for you.